Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Pondering on blogging : struggling with "all or nothing", a faulty thinking pattern or unhelpful thinking pattern that can lead to depression

Dear Friends,

Thank you very much for your visits, prayers, comments and emails. Please forgive me for my long silence. Thank God that I am better now. I am still learning to pace myself and to manage my health with the various commitments in my life. This is a great challenge for me!

I found that I have great problem drawing boundaries. In whatever I do, I always strive to do my very best to glorify God and to benefit others. So in blogging, I have tried to post as much as I can and visit as many blogs as I can. When I am invited to join a meme, I found myself hard to say "no" and will do as much as I can to join them. I do enjoy some of them very much and very thankful for many new friends. But over time, I tend to get myself burn out!

I do missed all of you very much and greatly appreciate all your comments and emails. But when I think of returning to blogging, it seems overwhelming to me to pick up from where I have left off! To be honest with you, blogging which originally was therapeutic to me, can at times become very stressful to me!

I tend to feel that unless I can do a good job in blogging, I will rather not do it. If I can't write good post, I will not post. If I can't visit all my friends, I will not visit any. So you see, I am struggling hard with "all or nothing" thinking!

I realized that I must learn to manage this better and there are ways I can learn to do so, as I do love blogging and I have many blogging friends who love me and support me, and they also value my friendships and support. I also have some readers who either email or left comments to let me know that my posts have benefited them.

So I have been praying hard in the past months as to whether I should continue blogging. But I really didn't have the confident of maintaining posts and visits and so do not know how and where to start. I am very thankful for my friend, Susan, for writing to me and sharing with me her experiences. So I am praying and thinking of how best to manage my blog in the days ahead. Please pray together with me for God's leadings. Thank you!

This "All or nothing" thinking can also affect my life in many negative ways in terms of my wanting to do my best for every project or don't do them at all. At times I also think that unless I do well in everything I do, I am not being useful or I am then a failure. These are all faulty thinking patterns.

I was re-reading Pastor David P Murray's series of messages on Depression and the Christian. In his third message "The Condition", he talked about some "unhelpful thinking pattern" or "faulty thinking patterns", one of which is the False extremes and how this can affect our thinking of ourselves. You may download this file in PDF format : 3TheCondition.pdf

False extremes : This is a tendency to evaluate our personal qualities in extreme, black or white categories – shades of grey do not exist. This is sometimes called “all-or-nothing thinking”.

He wrote
Perhaps, the most obvious symptoms of depression are the unhelpful patterns of thinking which tend to distort a depressed person’s view of reality in a false and negative way, and so add to the depression or anxiety.

While we often cannot change the providences we have passed through, or are passing through, we can change the way we think about them so as to present to ourselves a more accurate and positive view of our lives, and so lift our spirits.

...continue reading or Download PDF file : 3TheCondition.pdf



Do you find yourself struggling in this way too? How do you cope?

Thank you for stopping by!

Thanks for your encouragement. Take care and have a blessed day!

Warm Regards,
Nancie

Related Posts:

About depression, bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) and mental illness or mood disorders:
1. About bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness)
2. Myths and Facts on Mental Illness
3. Treatment of bipolar disorder
4. Various pamphlets and articles on bipolar disorder for sufferer and carer
5. Recovery steps for depression and bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness

For friends and carers:
1. Helping someone with mood disorder
2. Family and Friends' Guide to Recovery from Depression and Bipolar Disorder
3. How Carers and Friends can help

Misc related posts:

1. Trust during rough times
2. Finding meaning in a life with bipolar disorder
3. Mental illness (depression, bipolar disorder, etc) is an illness like any other
4. Video on "Depression - A Stubborn Darkness"


My experiences:
1. My Coping Strategies
2. Correcting faulty thinking patterns or Unhelpful thinking patterns that can lead to depression or worsen depression

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